Unlocking the Game-Changer in You
Cooking something outside of your comfort zone isn’t easy. It requires fundamental knowledge, proper preparation, and the ability to adapt when things don’t go exactly as expected. We often view it as a goal, requiring a “pass” or “fail” judgment, while limiting us to the belief that if the final product isn’t good, we must not be good at cooking. For some, the act of cooking eats away at them, but for others, it’s an experiment that we accept and allow ourselves to improve upon. The stakes aren’t usually that high, so we permit ourselves to fail. That’s why, as we mature, we learn to cook a few dishes by memory, eventually adding our own signature flair to keep things spicy. That flair is directly correlated to our confidence and says more about how we think than how we cook.
If confidence were a recipe, most people would say it’s mixing one cup of knowledge and one cup of practice. We convince ourselves that confidence comes from being informed and appropriately expressing information, but what if we could add a little something to that recipe to make it even better? While it’s true that you need that cup of knowledge if you’re going to profoundly impact an area of practice, and it’s necessary to gain real-life experience to be better apt at adapting to that area of practice, you also need to shift your thinking toward your attitude if you want to raise your confidence level.
Think of your attitude as the visual and auditory expression of your mindset. It echoes your thoughts, whether you know it or not, and people are constantly focused on examining it for you. We tend to suggest that those who are visually upset or express frustration have “poor” or “bad” attitudes. What we are really saying is that anyone who is outwardly hostile must be at least equally negative inwardly. The same goes for the opposite of outwardly excited and inwardly positive. If you accept that attitude is a reflection of your mindset, then you can use it as a strength to foster outward confidence as well.
Adjusting your attitude to boost your confidence is more than just manifesting positive thoughts; it’s a shift in your thought process. Your conviction that you might not be good enough is already diminishing your desire to learn more. Sticking to that conviction will put you in situations where you refuse to see how to gain more experience. It leads you to perpetuate the cycle of fear, focusing on how things don’t go your way, rather than helping you build a better level of introspection. Instead, try focusing on acknowledging the actions that lead you to better results. For example, do you like reading about experiences others had on a topic you want to feel more confident about, or would you rather practice debating with someone about it? Whichever you prefer, how can you do more of it? Attitude is more than just saying, “I will do it.” It’s saying, “I can do it and will feel myself improve.”
If you work out, you enjoy seeing the results of your muscles growing and your mobility improving. Your muscles strengthen through repetition. The same principle applies to times when you face uncertainty but still take action. You wind up lifting the mental weight of fear. It strengthens your muscles and boosts your confidence. This is where the attitude adds its flavor, and the gusto comes in.
If you go into lifting that mental weight with the idea that it’s a daunting task, you’ll be more concerned with who is looking at you, what others will perceive of your progress, and how feeble you’ll look. Suppose you approach it with an attitude geared toward embracing the challenge and learning from the experience. In that case, you won’t worry about the perception of others or the thought of this spotlight on you because you’ll naturally be open to ideas for improvement. Others will feed off that and want to support your growth. That attitude shift is the game-changer that helps you overcome your confidence hurdles.
Attitude in confidence is just as life-shifting as it is contagious. Take a look at the examples below:
| Poor Attitude | Reflections of a Poor Attitude | Improved Attitude | Reflections of an Improved Attitude |
|---|---|---|---|
| “I hope this goes well.” | Consistently fearful. | “I’m ready to do my best and learn.” | Greater resiliency. |
| “That mistake will always haunt me.” | Negatively nervous. | “What did I learn from that mistake?” | Stronger reflection. |
| “I hate dealing with this.” | Deliberately angry. | “I’m grateful I can try this.” | Improved accountability. |
The chart illustrates how an improved attitude of inward thought alters the outward dynamic, allowing a person to transition from consistently fearful, nervous, and inwardly angry to resilient, reflective, and more self-accountable. Attitude is the boost that gives strength to greater confidence.
Confidence isn’t baked in one try. It’s about progress. Cooks don’t become chefs after one meal, and the same idea applies to any profession that depends on skill and service. A teacher continually refines their approach to reaching each student. An architect learns, project by project, how to turn their vision into a structure. Even doctors, lawyers, engineers, and artists know that mastery is never final. We don’t always think of these professions as examples of progress over perfection, but that’s exactly what they are. That’s why attitude is such an important part of confidence. It isn’t the belief that you deserve, can’t, or won’t that helps you grow. It’s the quiet conviction that you could, should, and can that keeps you learning. When you embrace progress over perfection, it becomes a relief that frees you from the pressures of always getting it right the first time. It motivates you to keep learning and growing.
At the end of each day, your confidence is visible in areas you might not even give thought to: from ensuring you brush your teeth more than once a day, to how you hold your posture, and how you lean into (or away from) conversations. Confidence is a recipe that goes well beyond just experience and knowledge, and if you want it to rise like a good loaf should, you need to remember your attitude.
Confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about showing up, stirring the pot, and trusting in yourself so that every mistake adds a little more wisdom and flavor. Mix what you know with what you’ve learned and bring your best attitude to the table. That’s the ingredient that makes everything rise. In the end, confidence isn’t something you serve once. It’s something you keep improving to share with others.
Recipe For Confidence
Ingredients:
- 1 Cup of “What you know”
- 1 Cup of “What you’ve learned”
- 2 Cups of “A positive attitude”
Instructions:
- Mix all ingredients until blended with patience and humility.
- Let the mixture rest whenever self-doubt begins to rise.
- Stir in a handful of curiosity and a pinch of courage.
- Taste often, adjusting your attitude as needed.
- Serve daily and share generously with others.
