Grow Your Grit: Turning Challenges into Fuel for Growth
You’ve been there. That moment something doesn’t go your way, despite you thinking everything was normal, and your brain rushes in with all the reasons why this is the beginning of a doomed plot. Even though you understand this is a setback, your mind wants to think it’s far worse. Most people think the hardest part of failing is starting over. It’s not. The hardest part is believing the story that says failing means you’re not good enough.
Your setbacks do not define you.
Let’s start right there. Your conviction that a difficult moment, result, task, or conversation inevitably leads to a string of predictable adverse outcomes stems from your mindset, not reality. Get out of the negative space. You cannot predict the future, you do not know how people will react, and you should not assume things can only get worse. These are spiraling thoughts that lead to destructive limiting beliefs. Instead, realize that setbacks are pieces of data meant to drive you toward success if used correctly. To successfully do this, you should start by understanding the nature behind your grit and determination.
DETERMINATION
Think of determination as a moment in time when you take control and push yourself to achieve something. It’s the nudge of attitude in your brain that gets you to complete a task, find a solution, or engage in goal-driven action. While we sometimes view it as stubbornness or excitement, we get determined because we can “see” the desired outcome in our mind. The more your brain can visualize the details of an outcome, the more determined you become to make it come to life. If you want to improve your determination for a specific topic, start by visiting the “why” of a task.
Think of your determination as a fully painted picture and make it your goal to create it. Do everything possible to visualize a positive outcome and make it a reality that extends beyond your mind. This could take the form of writing a clear, concise goal and listing the benefits underneath it, or it could involve creating a vision board that helps you achieve clarity on what you will accomplish. For instance, if your goal is to run a marathon, you could visualize yourself crossing the finish line, feeling the sense of accomplishment, and hearing the crowd’s cheers. To become more determined, you need to visualize it, feel it, and fully immerse yourself in the outcome you desire. It’s the same reason you should surround yourself with positive people. The outcome you want to see comes from the reality you actively build. A problem isn’t a barrier unless you make it one, so being able to visually see what you are trying to achieve in any way possible will give you the determination needed to make it happen.
GRIT
Grit is what shows up when you’re in the mindset to keep going no matter what. While determination helps you achieve a specific outcome at a given time, grit is the ongoing defiance that allows you to overcome every obstacle. It’s the resilience that keeps you moving forward, regardless of the challenging moments that get in the way. Whether you’re dragging your feet or are thinking of procrastinating, grit keeps you going despite how much it might “suck” at that moment. Grit happens during moments of failure, when progress seems utterly impossible to reach, and when no one praises you for your effort. It helps you not quit because you know you don’t just want to, you need to, and that’s enough to empower you not to stop.
Grit means understanding the value of your desired outcome. Your goal should be to improve it beyond sheer determination. Grit makes you unstoppable and leads to a thought pattern that overrides limiting beliefs and their overwhelming effects. The more you can embrace discomfort, the stronger this attribute within you becomes. That’s why it’s a misconception that grit leads to burnout. The “hustle” mentality isn’t the key behind grit. Instead, it’s simply a matter of consistency. It’s what personal trainers try to teach you when they focus on “showing up” despite the feeling of not wanting to work out. Grit requires emotional regulation, long-term thinking, and the push beyond boredom. It shows you that the more you can build resilience toward overcoming the uncomfortable, the more you can step into the reality you want to create. Think about all the times in the past that you didn’t quit something and the result it gave. What did it do for you? That was you growing your grit, and that’s what you should focus on as a means of further strengthening it.
SETBACKS
Setbacks aren’t a problem. They’re data. They provide you with information that you can use to define solutions more effectively and continue working toward your desired outcomes. This understanding empowers you, giving you the control and confidence to navigate future challenges. People who are determined often allow particular ‘tougher’ setbacks to stop their progress entirely. Those who practice improving their grit can reflect on experiences and determine actions that will help to improve their subsequent attempts. Whether intentional or not, they use the R.E.A.D. method to grow their grit, and it’s one of the simplest ways to respond better to setbacks:
- Recognize the emotion.
- Extract the lesson.
- Adjust the approach.
- Direct with clarity.
The R.E.A.D. method helps individuals experiencing setbacks navigate the phases of redirection, bringing them closer to their desired outcome. It begins by recognizing that emotion often precedes logical reasoning under challenging situations, and being able to isolate, articulate, and define it is critical. Once you understand that an initial emotion exists, you can start to draw the conclusions that guide you toward extracting the lesson. This is where you can ask, “What information is this setback giving me for next time?” That answer guides you in creating a new, more empowered approach that directs you forward with greater clarity.
Practicing the R.E.A.D. method anytime you experience setbacks will help you reach new levels of understanding. What tends to hold you back isn’t the challenge or the problem of a situation; it’s the story we tell ourselves about it. We allow our self-created limiting beliefs to make situations far worse than they truly are, and those limiting beliefs amplify the emotions of the moment. As humans, we’re wired to instinctively act on emotions because they serve as a warning tool from the brain. Luckily, though, we’ve evolved beyond just accepting instinctual behaviors. We’ve learned the valuable lesson to take all our limiting beliefs and reframe them into positive statements that drive forward thought and action. This is where daily affirmations, journaling, and actively talking things out loud with professional support will always help.
ACTION, NOT INTENSITY
It’s a misconception that to strengthen your grit, you need to double down after a setback and come back with intensity. It isn’t about that, nor is it about giving 100% every single day. What matters is that you do something, with integrity and care, even if it’s small. These small, consistent actions will always beat short bursts of intense effort because constant intensity is what leads to burnout. Action creates momentum, telling your brain that you are moving forward.
The goal is to start by doing what feels manageable, not what feels ideal. You might begin by tackling the “little wins” first. These are the small tasks you can complete quickly so you can get them out of your way. This will help you gain traction. Movement, literally and metaphorically, matters. Progress never needs to be loud and attention-seeking. It just needs to happen. Taking small, deliberate steps toward a goal enables you to build a system of trust with yourself, which is what gives you the confidence to keep going. It’s the reason the tortoise won the race against the hare, or why that famous fish just kept swimming. Each step guided them forward, and each setback was proof of their growth.
CONFIDENCE
Setbacks often cause a downshift in confidence, and determination will only get you so far if your confidence feels broken. Grit helps you see that confidence is (re)fortified through failures and rejections. Confidence isn’t primarily built through big wins; it comes from the small promises you make to yourself and keep. From waking up and getting out of bed when you said you would, to tackling a conversation you think will be tough, or showing up when you could have created an excuse, you build a system of trust with yourself that rapidly turns into a stronger confidence to handle things.
Your confidence grows through the objective evidence you experience firsthand. The more you demonstrate your capabilities to yourself, the more you adjust your inner dialogue. The reality is that you don’t need confidence to take action, because confidence grows as a result of it.
ENVIRONMENT
It will always be true that the more you surround yourself with positive people who want to see you succeed, the more you will thrive. It goes beyond the people, though; it also goes into what you listen to, what you eat, and anything that you allow into your space. Rumors, negative talk, and anything that lures you into idle gossip or instills fear can impact your mindset. The more you can access conversations about self-improvement, engage in non-judgmental laughter, and envision a positive future, the more your mind will improve your determination and grit.
Find people who want to see you win. Spend time with those who push you to think bigger and remind you of your strength, especially when you forget it yourself. Be mindful of what you read, what you watch, who you listen to, and what you follow. Curate your environment so it reflects the future you’re trying to build, not the version of yourself you’re trying to leave behind.
THE TRUTH ABOUT GRIT AND DETERMINATION
Growth is messy. It’s never linear. Some days are empowering and bountiful. Other days lead you to feeling stuck, unmotivated, or questioning everything. None of those things defines failure. They mean that you’re in it. Working at it. Evolving. You’re becoming stronger and more aware. Growth isn’t about constant improvement. It’s about learning to sit in discomfort long enough to find a positive way forward.
Any setback you experience isn’t the end of your story. It’s not a reason to let the emotion overtake you, and it’s not proof that you aren’t good enough. It’s exactly the opposite. It’s a moment in time that’s trying to talk to you and guide you. It functions as information you can take to create leverage and find a solution. It means you need to look deeper, think a little more, and adjust your approach to come back stronger. That’s the work. The more you stay committed, the more unstoppable you become.
Every difficulty you’ve ever experienced has been a moment to make a decision: Do you lean into it, or do you let it define you?
Grow your grit and lean in. It will make you unstoppable.
