The human brain can fire billions of neural signals each second and, according to the American Journal of Medicine, has an average of about 48 thoughts per minute. That means that aside from 70,000 thoughts per day, we also have a series of emotions and actions catalyzed by those thoughts. With the ability to think so much, it’s no wonder sometimes we hold ourselves back from the things that would help us most. We like to think that we’re problem-solvers, capable of logically figuring out even the most troubling issues that come our way, yet we use excuses to explain away most of them. Sometimes, we blame others; other times, we let our emotions drive our actions; and other times, we unintentionally focus on looking the other way, hoping the problems will find a solution elsewhere. It’s logical to think that after so many thoughts per day, we’re bound to conclude there is logic in dodging and inaction, but we also have to examine that it might be the dreaded self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage is a stealthy, destructive force that can manifest in various ways, slowly eroding your confidence, self-assurance, and desire to grow. The urgent need to stop this internal chaos in its tracks is a critical marker toward perceived happiness. Recognizing the signs of self-sabotage is the first step towards regaining control. It’s about finding productive solutions and shifting your mindset from negative thought patterns to positive actionability.
Some of the easiest places to spot self-sabotage happen in the workplace because it comes with a series of “feedback loops” that require you to eventually face some form of evaluation. These feedback loops are situations where you receive feedback on your performance, and then you have to adjust your behavior based on that feedback. Regardless of your role at any job, it’s likely that you will ultimately have to take on feedback that challenges your behaviors, so your mind, instead of seeing potential positive outcomes, tends to prepare for the worst. This preparation can sometimes mask as positive behavior, like when you want a project to come out so perfect that you spend an extraordinary amount of uninterrupted hours focusing on its perfection. This seems like focus, but it’s actually fear controlling your actions instead of your vision for positive achievement.
Perfection doesn’t exist, and when you spend so much time trying to achieve it, you’re likely missing some form of communication about exact expectations and requirements.
The list below represents some of the most common self-sabotage markers. As you read through it, consider whether you have encountered any recently, particularly at work.
Self-Sabotage Indicator | Explanation |
---|---|
Perfectionism | Chasing extremely high self-imposed standards (that can never be achieved) that cause you to put off projects or burnout. |
Negative Self-Talk | Criticizing yourself often and comparing yourself to others leading to diminished confidence and reluctancy to take action. |
Avoidance | Creating distractions and diversions to stray from what you should do and say, causing problems, issues, and consequences to worsen |
Resistance to Delegation | Battling the fear of replacement, judgment, or uncovering your internal disorganization leading to personal overburdening and blame-shifting. |
Indecisiveness | Not allowing yourself to make decisions in fear of making mistakes, causing a state of stagnancy while new problems arise. |
Each indicator above leads to new narratives that conceal the ongoing self-sabotage. The brain is so adept at creating a storyline that it fabricates a new narrative to ignore the self-sabotage. This leads to deeper convictions and potential missteps that generally don’t align with critical personal or professional goals. Overcoming these narratives and rewiring your mind to adjust destructive behavioral patterns starts with mindfulness.
When you consider how many thoughts you have per day, how many actions you need to take each hour, and how often you need to determine your priorities, you start to see that your brain doesn’t try to give itself time to reset. In fact, most people tend to use sleep as their resting outlet, but it’s no wonder that recent years have shown more sleep issues and higher stress levels. Humans are flooded with so much information that they use distractions to distract themselves from distractions. Think of the days you’re working on a project at work and an email pops up. You stop what you’re doing and go read it. That prompts you to think about other things that require action, and your mind then slips to picking up your phone and looking at social media or diverting to another thought or action that disengages you from concentration even further. Appropriate attention to mindfulness will help you adjust these kinds of situations and issues.
When was the last time you enjoyed a workout? What time was your last deep-breathing rest? How did you use your lunch break to relax and discuss what you’re grateful for? These are all examples of things you could be doing to practice mindfulness. For instance, you could start your day with a few minutes of deep breathing, take a walk during your lunch break to clear your mind, or keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the positive things in your life. The more you take these kinds of actions, the more the mind will reduce its inflammatory state of negative thoughts and start to see the potential for self-evaluation.
Self-evaluation is key. The moment you admit there’s a level of self-sabotage at play, your mind will instantly discredit the negative patterns and creative narratives it formed to replace them with new potential for improved performance. This realization ignites the desire to discuss it with a Coach or mentor, empowering you to start disempowering the self-judgment. From there, it’s about openly acknowledging what’s happening and taking positive actions to improve on the situation. The actions don’t need to be formulaic – they simply need to be steps forward.
Self-sabotage comes in various patterns and subtle self-imposed tactics, but it’s up to you to destroy their effectiveness. The moment you can give yourself pause, rest, and recovery, your brain will automatically start working to help adjust your negative convictions. That’s the beauty of the mind, with so many thoughts per day, it can drive you further in any direction you train. After all, it is similar to a muscle, and according to even the most famous of personal trainers, muscles require three things for growth: good nutrition, proper exercise, and dedicated rest. Imagine how much less you would self-sabotage if you consistently focused on those three things. Your brain would probably offer some exciting new ideas throughout its 70,000 daily thoughts.